Bartholomew addressed here the fear of death by redirecting attention to the essential question of how to live. He explained that the ego - a mercurial bundle of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations - is the most insubstantial thing in creation, constantly changing and full of gaps that reveal our deeper nature. True awakening comes through willingness to let die what can die (fears, self-pity, beliefs, attachments), thereby revealing the deathless that was always present. This tape offers a profound teaching on using illness as a doorway to awakening and presents death not as an ending but as simply another moment in a continuum.

The Question of Living Before Dying: Before concerning ourselves with how to die, Bartholomew stated, the essential knowing is how to live. If life has quality, depth, joy, wonder, and magnificent fun in it, then the moment of death becomes very simple - a spontaneous sense of "Oh boy, let's go! What's next?" rather than a terrifying ending. He emphasizes that these "ending moments" are not really endings at all, but moments of a continuum that can be experienced as exciting, expansive, and magnificent.

The Mercurial Nature of Ego: The basic assumption most people make is that ego is living their life. But ego is merely a cluster of thoughts which, bundled together, we call "my mind." When a thought arises, there is a physical sensation in the body; the response of these two coming together produces what we call emotion, which then translates into action or inaction. This entire structure is extraordinarily insubstantial - more insubstantial than a table or floor. Ego is like mercury, constantly shimmering and changing: "I used to love steak. Now I'm a vegetarian. I hate everybody involved with steaks." Observing this mercurial quality with good humor is the beginning of awakening.

The Gaps That Reveal Deep Self: This seemingly solid self is "full of holes, full of gaps, full of openings." The most observable gap is in the breath - we breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause. Similarly, thoughts rise and fall with spaces between them, constantly returning to the spacious source. Bartholomew used the image of waves arising from a lake: they move in patterns and then fall back into the deep. The frightening imagery of building an ever-larger ego that crashes at death is not reality. Reality is infinitely gracious - out of tremendous love and compassion, the deep self provides constant breaks, constant returns to Source.

Illness as a Doorway: When illness arrives, Bartholomew taught, it provides a magnificent opportunity to ask: "What is really going on here?" Illness forces one to slow down, to be present, to examine what truly matters. Rather than fighting against physical limitation, one can use it as a focus for awakening - a chance to let the body inform the deeper knowing of who we really are. The body's vulnerability can become a teacher, pointing beyond itself to that which does not change, does not sicken, does not die.

Willing Versus Trying: The key to awakening is willingness, not trying. "Trying means pushing away from or grasping," Bartholomew explained. "Willingness is a letting go." The difference is palpable in the body: "I am trying, I am trying, I am trying" creates tension, while "I am willing, I am willing, I am willing" creates openness. You cannot will yourself to be willing - it happens spontaneously. One simply sits down with humor and integrity and says, "I am willing to see," then becomes still. The answer that arises is not mental, not a ticker-tape explanation, but a knowing - feeling totally whole, safe, full, alive, and infinite.

Letting Die What Can Die: The practical instruction is clear: let die what can die. This includes fears, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, confusion, loneliness, righteousness - even goodness. "In their dying, what is left? Just what is." One invites these things for close scrutiny, willing to die to fear without having anything outside change to look less frightening. This is done "again and again and again" - not as a doing or trying, but as repeated willingness. Eventually, the deathless is revealed, which was always there, hidden by what could die.

The Call to Awaken Now: Bartholomew concluded with an urgent invitation: "In the next 10 years there is a maximum opportunity for more of you to reach this deep state of knowing exactly who you are and what God is than has ever been possible on the face of this planet." Tension, illness, poverty, war, and man's inhumanity provide the conditions; more souls than ever are present for awakening. He asked us to take this as "a serious, exciting call to awaken." Everything is in place. The only requirement is willingness - willingness to let die what can die, and to let God do what God has always been doing anyway.