Joy Franklin:
This is December 16th [1991], and the next meeting will be on January 27th, 1991 in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Good morning, Bartholomew!

Bartholomew / Mary-Margaret Moore:
Well, good morning, my friends.

Audience:
Good morning.

Bartholomew / Mary-Margaret Moore:
I'd like to speak about several things today, but I'd like to begin with some gratitude. One of the questions that was asked a few months ago was, well, Bartholomew, whoever you might be or whatever you might be, what are you getting out of all of this? What do you see from your perception? What is taking place? What is taking place? And what will be the final motion when this comes to its beautiful end? And I would like to address at this particular time, because those of you who have been so very, very faithful to this teaching (it is 13 years this month, earth time, if that's correct, yes...),

So when you begin a cycle after 13, moving into a 14, new things, a different kind of beginning, such as between seven and eight or ten and eleven, and this is a wonderful moment. And what we would like from our side of this experiment is to share with you the basics and to let you have a window into how it's seen from what we could say to be our side of things, realizing that there's only one thing and there are no sides, there's only one vision, there's only one reality, everything is one, but in the sense that we are playing this day, a sense of duality then, if we could just share with you how that is.

All right. Let's give some visuals, because I think that your minds work in symbols, and I think that as you begin to dwell on symbols, you begin to understand your own process. Some of you who are sitting in here have been with this process since the very beginning. Some of you have come in very early into it. Some of you in the middle, some of you at the end. Some of you have not yet come. So the whole... [giggles]... the whole situation is one of wonderful kind of comparison and flux and understanding.

So let us just put a visual in your awareness of that first time, that first time that a larger group was gathered, not just when there were a few, such as three or four, but when there was a larger group, and the awareness began to move into your body, your thought field, your emotional field, all of that as the beginnings permeated. What happened, what we were hoping would happen is what happened. And we had a lot of background to go on what would happen, because this is a very standard operation procedure when Spirit wants to... when Spirit wants to move into consciousness. But Spirit finds it needs to do is to begin softly and gently, not necessarily quietly, but softly and gently to make openings.

Now, those of you who have listened to the first tapes for the first few years will realize that the voice intensity was very loud. Do you remember? And it was very difficult for a lot of people's egos because they thought they were back in their classroom or in their home being scolded by a big mommy, daddy, teacher or someone, being reprimanded, and they... many people dropped away because that level could never be permeated. And Dr. Aiken, in his very wonderfully kind heart, would come to Mary-Margaret and say, tone it down, and she'd say "how am I going to do that?". Because it is not Mary Margaret who decides on the tone.

If it was Mary Margaret who decides on the tone, things would be very different. This is in a sense - and please understand how we mean it - in a sense all is done with her full participation, excitement and delight. But long ago, she gave the control of the dials over. Otherwise expansion would not have been possible. We would have been going back through the same material as we were going through when we first began. And that is simply not the case. Those of you who have followed it realize that they are... we are moving into deeper areas, some of which may be quite frightening for some people.

Nevertheless, those first and early years were essential because those of you who could sense in your body, past your fear of the voice, you could sense something. I would not say you would have characterized it as God on High, but perhaps something like "Hum, that's interesting". And that's all that was needed. You know, people didn't need to flop on the floor in adulation and... and gratitude. Not necessary. What was necessary? The open consciousness that says "Hum, there's something interesting here. I think I'll stay with it and see where I can move with it." No one needs to be on the floor enraptured in gratitude. Teaching is teaching.

The highest praise you can give is to listen, not to listen with a closed mind, but with an open countenance that says "there is nothing harmful here, therefore I can open up and allow it to move into me." Your end of this marvelous experiment was to be willing to do that, to let your mind trace its funny little way up and down the scale of consciousness, which was part of the awareness and part of the expansion. But my friends, the most exciting and the most important part of the whole thing was your bodies began to take on a different feeling tone. I wish the magic wand could be given here and all of you transported back to the first day that you heard this, your feeling inside, your feeling about who you are, of why you're here, of your plus... position here on earth consciousness, who you are, what was all about.

But most of all, my friends, an intrinsic feeling of you inside of your body, who were you in those days? Inside of the body? My friends, you don't feel the same. You don't feel the same to this consciousness as it permeates you, and in all fairness, I think you don't feel the same to yourselves. Is that true? And that is the gift of the openness of your awareness that says: "I'm willing to risk." I don't know. This is a very strict... remember, we started this experiment long before such a thing as channeling was even thought of in any concrete way on this earth plane. And we began with a lot of fear on the parts of Mary Margaret. We began with fear on the part of some of you: was this some kind of a strange thing that's going to come in and do strange and... and perhaps not positive things to your psyches?

But there was enough of you who trusted a combined integrity of a group of people that made it happen. Part of it, of course, was Justin and Mary Margaret, John and Louisa Aiken. John and Louisa Aiken had a tremendous amount to do with many of you trusting this field of consciousness, because as you trusted them, you allowed if they trusted this, then it could be trusted. Do you understand the incredible gift that they have given to this work all across this country? This work fell into a system of trust because Dr. John and Louisea Aiken had made the trust present so it could move into that world and become what it has become. Our gratitude is extremely deep.

Our gratitude is deep to all of you who have been sitting here time after time, allowing yourselves to be transformed. So, what we see, and I hope you understand the depth of this word, is a beautiful softening of your consciousness. It's... that you can allow life to move toward you, even at its most terrifying, even at its most challenging, even at its most lonely, you can allow life to move into you and it does not inundate you now. You now know that you stand there. Is that not true? You are standing there in your being and something is coming to you. A state of depression, a state of anxiety, a state of fear.

But it is moving to you. And you now understand that you stand in another place. You are not the depression. It is something that comes to you. Do you understand? And it is an intrinsically important difference. To understand that. You are not the depression. You are not the fear thoughts. You are not the anxiety. You are something incredibly vast, magnificent and empowered that stands there, now, courageously willing to allow all of those patterns of life to flow through you in some way that does not throw you off onto your face into some kind of despairing pattern of consciousness. And this is the tribute to you.

Those of you who have stood firm throughout all of the changes, throughout all of your own changes and the changes of this planet, I want to say to you "Thank you." If you were to say, what does this side of consciousness say to you, we say thank you. Without your willingness to sit and listen. Without your willingness to risk losing your own particular point of view, to move out of a smaller one into a vaster one, without that, no amount of light consciousness could have done anything. Without the willingness on the human condition to allow the human body to be permeated with something new, nothing changes.

We could have rattled our words to you over these years, and if you could hear them in your mind, but not... were not willing to absorb them and take them in as new code in the body, nothing would change. We have to talk about code in the body, because as the years go on, as DNA is... is better understood. DNA is a magnificent mystery, magnificent, magnificent mystery. You have only begun to taste the wonder of DNA. And as you know, they have these marvelous machines that can tell you how many miles of DNA you have folded within your body. It's truly an exciting, marvelous expansion. But what I want to talk about, which I don't know when they will come upon this particular quantity of it, I'd like to talk about one quality of the DNA that their machines may not pick up on right away, but in time they will.

And it is what you would call love. And as Mr. Moore said, today was gonna be a talk about love. Very psychic friend here. Please understand that folding on falls upon, falls upon, falls within every cell of your body, compounded then cell upon cell upon cell, is this magnificent folding of this DNA. Now, to say to you that the end of your loneliness comes from the DNA is to speak a truth. To say that out of the DNA, fear will no longer be part of your awareness is to speak the truth. To say that the DNA itself holds something magnificently mysterious that is going to show that there is no difference between a spiritual and a scientific approach to consciousness is to say everything.

My friends, those miles and miles and miles of DNA patterning, constantly available, not just in your heart center, not just in your hara, not just in your third eye, not just on the top of the... of your head. in the golden crown, but folded within every absolute part of your cellular structure is the DNA. And what is the talk today about? That basic component that which holds the D and A together. That which is what they will begin to... they will find what's in this substance before they find out the substance itself. Do you understand? They're going to begin to study what the different particles, the different parts of it are.

And then finally, it's like studying the screen, I mean, the images first and one day saying, well, oh, that's all well and good, now let's study the screen. And as soon as they begin to study the screen itself, then they're going to begin to learn a tremendous amount. And what we say to you today is that the very source and substance that you arise out of, that source of God consciousness, is the background, is that which holds the DNA. It is what the DNA is. And so, as you go through these times and as I look and scan the psychic patterns today, I see various kinds of sorrows and fears. I see some kinds of of desperation. I see some kinds of depression.

Now, my friends, I want you to understand: basically, when you begin to move in the month of December, at this time in this place, December is not the same all over this planet. I'm speaking about here. When you move into December, when here your stark skies begin to gray down, when things begin to get a little bit different. When the air begins to fold in on the planet in a different kind of a way, things get held down on this planet much more readily. At this times of the year, then when the sky is open and the wind is blowing, and things are in wonderful flux, do you understand? So please don't be hard on yourself. It is easy to say, well, it's because of Christmas. Well, you know, you could move Christmas to June and December would still feel like this.

You know, you might make another reason for it, but you know, it will still feel like this because it is something that, you know, in the I Ching they talk about the light under the ground, how the... how the lightning moves down into the ground and awaits in its deep, nurturing self to know itself, to begin to explode again when the spring turns into the new round of consciousness. My friends, this is so... what is then the necessity for you when you are in a place where despair can come, when it is part of growing consciousness? My friends, now we need to go back to the basic lessons... we tried to state it in a new way last month, we will continue to try to state it yet again.

The difficulty with any kind of a pattern such as depression, a fear of loneliness, a fear... For example, if we were to ask many more people feel frightened of ill health in December, January and February than they do June, July and August. Nothing's much different, you know, including people who live in cities, including, you know, it's just different. So when the fears begin to come, you can say how cruel of God to have created a winter. Why couldn't we have eternal spring or eternal summer? Doesn't that sound like some fairy tales you've heard of? You know... anyway, the truth is that that is not what's necessary.

What is necessary is, first of all, to understand that as this overlaying of consciousness is present at this time, it has as its magnificent ability, the ability to help you, and this is what we need to test upon right now. When everything is being pushed down on you, when there is no real way of escape, some of you may have even tried to go to others and talk out your difficulties, only to find that things were worse. And you know, that's not the law, the law is: you go when you talk and things get better. Well, not always. Not always. It depends on many things. Now, if indeed, whatever this dilemma is that you wish to speak to other is really most intrinsically about you. And if that is, at this moment, what is appropriate is for you to take the difficulty and begin to work on it within yourself rather than to out-picture it outside, then... then you are not going to find a lessening of the anxiety through speech. If you do find it through speech, then you know you are on the right track.

But I'm going to also tell you to not feel that you are on the wrong track, if you cannot reconcile at this time of the year through your speech patterns.Do you understand me? Because this is essential. As more and more information comes in from the television to... to stir up more and more fears of all kinds, you're going to have to take a stand somewhere. You know, you can't all meet with President Bush. Not that many of you might want to have no idea. But I know that you could not. I know that you could not. Or whoever is in charge of your bank or of the lending institution or whoever owns your car, whatever. I'm saying that that one-on-one communication is simply not possible. So what are you left with? In the past, you've been left without out-picturing it, ranting and raving with whoever the poor bloke happens to be in your home.

You know, whether it's your cat or your plant or your child or your mate or your grandmother, whoever is there who's willing to stand there, then you're just going, well, this is what happened, and this is this, and out it goes and out it goes... Well, the difficulty with that is perhaps there is a momentary lessening, but in the end, all you have done is... [giggling] ... excuse me, all you have done is to create it. Now, even more people are going to worry about it because now everybody's going "Oh my goodn..." and.... all right. So this is how fear communicates itself. I am not saying you have to stop being fearful.

I'm just saying let's get a hold of the basic tool of consciousness, which is how to deal with anything from the most minute to the greatest vastest sweep of fear, whatever it might be. Basic rule, as... here we go again, and you're going to say "ho hum", but unfortunately, it's the only way to do it. All right. You simply stop thinking about your fear. You stop thinking about it and begin feeling about it. You cannot stop thinking. If you are afraid for the well-being of someone, about to go to Saudi Arabia. That is a real fear. And if you do not allow yourself to feel your fear, what you are going to distance yourself from is your love. So instead of letting your mind run rampant and make up pictures, what you need to do is to hold very still, allow yourself to feel the fear. Allow the fear to speak in whatever way it wants. Using words, whatever the words are. Allow the sound. Allow the words. Allow yourself to hear it.

And... as soon as that begins to soften down, please begin to feel inside of you the love that you have. If you need to bring up images of the best, most marvelous love times in your life, do so. Whatever begins your process of remembering your love. Remembering the love. It is the love that is going to make it possible to live through the year. It is the love. And you cannot get to the love if you're pushing away the fear. Do you understand my lovely ones? It has to come one of a piece. I say this to all of you for all of your circumstances, whatever they may be. The first act of ego is to try to distance, to try not to think. But you remember what we say. Now, remember, think about anything you want, but don't think of monkeys. [laughter]. Then we have monkey meditation.

To try and run away from thoughts is what throws you into addictive patterns of response. Some people work too hard. Some people drink too hard. Some people drug too hard. Some people make love too hard. I don't care. Maybe watch too much TV, read too many murder mysteries. Whatever your own form of it, you fall into the running-away-from mode. And my friends, understand that all that is going on here has a very important lining up with you in your body, in your life at this time. And as fears begin to arise, you have a magnificent choice and a job that is outstandingly exciting. Every bit of fear that comes into you, if you can hold it, experience it, describe it, feel its shape and size and form and color. How big is it? How small is it? How heavy is it? How light is it? Does it happen to have... does it happen to have a color? Some of these feelings have dynamic colors. Whatever they are, when you begin to allow that fear to be manifest in some concrete way, to allow itself to take shape and form, you have done a tremendous job for this planet because you are taking all of that undifferentiated fear that is just running amuck, and you're saying, hold on, slow down, I am going to transmute you through my body. My friends, that fear is constantly in and around you. And until you sit down and allow yourself to feel the camaraderie of it, to allow it to really make itself experiential in your body and in your mind, it's just going to keep hounding you like all those dogs that just follow you around waiting for you to sit down and eat your sandwich.

You know... [laughter] it's the very same, it's all of the same. It's the same. And fear is going to be like the hounds, you know, coming along behind you until you sit down and you perhaps share your sandwich and you say, all right, let's... let's just sit here. Everybody take a seat. Let's just sit here and let us just be with each other. When you begin... now listen, those of you that came last month, let us key this in deeply. When you stop the running, when you acknowledge the feeling, when you name it, if you can, whatever it might be as best you can, when you allow yourself to feel the fullness of that fear and just sit with it, just as the dogs around you sitting quietly enough in a very soft stance of awareness, what begins to happen is you begin to feel the fear in a very different way. That which was fear, frightening, unfamiliar, somehow going to inundate you, in the very process, you begin to feel that same energy in a different way.

Now, you can start talking about it in many different ways. You can say, well, I'm going to transmute it, I'm going to disperse it... You know... Your mind can do what it wants, but what I'm asking you to realize is that these are the laboratories that take the fear and release it into peace. Where is it going to happen? It happens in the physical body. You take the fear, you allow it to have its way with you. In other words, to explain to you what it has come to explain, and as you simply sit with it moment after moment after moment, it begins to change. Nothing stays the same. It cannot. You cannot stop energy. It cannot stop moving. It cannot stop moving. And this is why fear comes and goes. Fear comes and says, are you ready? Shall we talk? Shall we understand? You say, no, no, no, no, no. come away next week when I'm not looking. So you turn away and it goes away. It says, all right, next week she's not looking. Here we come. Here it comes again. Well, we know three o'clock in the morning, that's a good time to get a hold of anybody who really wants to escape. So three o'clock in the morning, here I come and it all then comes, if you feel that as a large hole in your chest, would you raise your hand if you've ever felt a very large hole in your chest? Yes, my friends. This is that.

Oh, my. We are having quite a time with these today. Excuse me. All right. That is the feeling. That is the feeling of the wholeness of despair. That is the undifferentiated "Oh, my God, I don't know what it is. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know what to do about it. I'm scared. I'm the victim. I'm just lying here and here it comes." Do you know, that feeling? That feeling is the human condition. And if there's anyone in this room [who] has not felt it, it is because you have allowed yourself to armor yourself so well that that last moment of letting go into this despair is just really right around the corner. And that's fine. You cannot deal with anything until you know you've got it. And this is one of the wonderful things of young people. They just don't know they've got it yet. They're running around. They believe it's all good and wonderful and so on. And then someday day things happen and they go "It wasn't what I thought it was. Life wasn't really... I wonder if I signed up for the wrong planet. You know, I'm not quite sure this is how..." and so on. All right. So I'm saying this is... I want you to understand that feeling is the natural feeling. And listen to me. It connects all of mankind. It is not your pain. It is THE pain. It is not your own private little war zone. It is THE war zone. It is what makes humans despair. It is what makes humans frightened, and the answer lies in, first of all, a del... I know this is a bizarre word to use, a delightful recognition: "Ah, this is what it is to be a human", "Oh" not "What have I done wrong? What have I done wrong?"

With all the rest of the humans, what have I done wrong? Because you see, many of you don't go... you know, remember that wonderful story of the lady who had to wear the Scarlet A, you know, if you could wear the Scarlet P for pain on your chest, if you would dare to just wear it, and everybody who saw you could say "ah, they understand, they know". Do you understand how quickly all the differences would just sweetly subside? Because then you would, instead of wearing your heart on your sleeve, you're wearing your pain in your heart for others to understand. And in that moment, I would tell you, just seeing that... I know this sounds ludicrous, seeing that on someone else would let you know: "This is my sister, this is my brother, we have the same pain." This is the pain of consciousness.

It does not have to stay. It does not have to keep its intensity. It does not have to burden you to the extent that it has in the past. And that is what we have to go back to again and yet again. Basic premise: that feeling of excruciating loneliness is in its very deepest sense, the very same substance as the most glorified, expansive, magnificent feeling that you have ever felt. You do not say they feel the same. You say they feel differently. In the next few weeks and months and years, I want us to see if we cannot break that down. That is an idea in the mind. And when... when you have the feeling "this is something I do not want", then pictures arise in the mind to say "That's right, you don't want it, you don't want it, you don't want it." Now, many of you are working on creating clear, exciting, dynamic pictures. For example, when you are in despair over a loss, instead of allowing yourself to thunder through all that yet again, you allow yourself to feel the loss. And then you take the responsibility of creating in that space within you something that is not despairing. My friends, you've got to push against the cork. You know, there's this cork that says "it can't be done, I can't feel bliss in a mad world." I want to tell you, my friends, part of the reason this world is going mad is so that you can feel your bliss. I will repeat: one of the reasons why this world is going mad is so that you can begin to feel your bliss. This is not a mistake. This is not something out of context. This isn't a bad God, and something went awry and went amuck. This is the way it is. And because it's the way it is, it has intrinsically in it the way out, the way to your total expansion and knowing. And you do it, my friends, by popping the cork. That means realizing you in your wholeness have something coming into you that is pain, something that is depression. You acknowledge it. You stay conscious with it. You begin to feel its parameters. And then as you begin to allow it to expand, you stay with it, you stay with the motion. When you stay with the motion of it, you are going to begin to feel it move.

It will begin to move. Energy never stays still. It is constantly in motion. And as it begins to move, as you begin to follow it, a very funny thing happens, and some of you have had this experience: and you just follow the pain out and it moves out, it moves out and moves out and moves out, it just gets less and less and less and less and less. And you don't even know what's happening. It's just like it's releasing. It's that... it's as if having come into you and you have recognized it in some way, claimed it because it's your creation and felt yourself feeling it, then it allows itself to move on into some other thought in some other form, in some other way. But you have got to learn to ride it. You've got to learn to do what the Buddhists talk about walking the razor's edge of consciousness. And that's precisely what this means.

To ride and walk the razor's edge of consciousness means to stay awake and keep your feelings going consciously. You can fall into patterns that are fantasies, that are lies, that are drama, or you can stay right with it and ride it right down the middle. And that means you hold it and you hold it. You allow it to talk to you instead of you talking to it. It's a tremendous shift in consciousness to realize that all of these vast energy fields are forever there as part of the wholeness with messages for your consciousness. You know, it's the consciousness that's the last to know. You know, all of you... some of you are very frightened of the unconscious. My friends, you have a lot more friends in your unconscious than you can possibly imagine. And if you are afraid of the unconscious, then those friends have a difficult time moving into your conscious mind. So we'll speak on that in a mminute. The razor's edge states very clearly: you don't run away, you don't run to something, you don't run away from something. You walk the edge, you allow yourself, you say... instead of saying "why me God?" you say "why not me God?" What I'm trying to tell you about these feelings is that is what humans feel. That is what frightened, separated human beings feel.

And the more of you that decide to admit not only to yourself, but to others about your own painful place of consciousness, without projecting it out and saying it's your fault, you know, I have this pain and it's your fault, just to keep allowing yourself to claim the pain, you will begin to see that that very fact begins to lessen it, and out of your life, as you begin to claim it, people come into your life if they're necessary so that they can help you with it, or you can begin to find within yourself the resources that... that move you into that deep acceptance. This is the place of power. My friends, the recognition of, the accepting of pain, the accepting of pain is the place of power. The running away from it is the place of the coward. Do you understand? If you are running, you are frightened. If you stand and hold your ground, you will find yourself to begin to feel all of the things that are heroic, that are courageous. You have to begin. If it's in the night, to sit up and begin. Just allow yourself to feel it. Make it real. If you have a notebook, if you dare to begin to write, begin to get that feeling out of you, out somewhere else so that you have a mirror to look back at. You can't escape this. I know that there is the hope that if you just keep praying to God enough, that God will come in and remove this obstacle.

Well, I want to tell you something, my friends. If everything is God, then that feeling is also God. And praying to God, in its deepest sense is saying "I am willing to feel anything because it is you." So let us say that again. The real lover... the real lover says "I am willing to feel anything, because it is... it is a face of your face. Because it is you. However scrambled it is in my consciousness, however strange it seems to say this, I'm willing to feel this, beloved, because it is you. Because you are all. You are all of it. And that does not exclude anything that I have in my awareness, in my feelings, in my thoughts, in my body, in my emotions, it's all you." And the lover says: "I accept it all". And then the wise lover says. "Teach me, teach me to accept it all. Teach me to see your face in the most difficult of moments. Teach me. Teach me".

Just be ready to be taught, to hold in your mind the possibility that if everything is one and if God is all, if everything is Spirit, its source is oneness. If it's all that. Then the real lover says: "I'm confused. I see separation. I see your beautiful face here and your ugly face here." What is it that throws your personal relationships into such a difficult placement? When you first fall in love, remember, you could hardly breathe. You know, it was just too much. And everywhere you looked was the face of the beloved. And you didn't need anything else because you had it all. You had the love of the beloved and your desires had been met. You had that what you sought. And for different lengths of time, depending on situations, eventually things begin to fall apart. And that sense of having everything, of being full to completion begins to wane. And if you look very carefully at what makes it wane, and this goes with having a baby and then having to feed it, you know, two o'clock and four o'clock, thirty and then five thirty and then seven, you know, it's not just love affairs, it's love in all of its forms, including children and parents and grand-ch.... all of the way along dogs, you know, cats, puppy or whatever it is, it's all the same: love is what it is. There is this wonderful coming and merging and wholeness and oneness, and then things begin to move. And as soon as it begins to move away, what comes up in your heart is "I failed again. I couldn't hold it. I'm just not loving enough. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

As soon as that clock comes up in the mind, because humans have this magnificent thing that they've thrown in this game, it's called projection, and you planned it very carefully, what you do is say "All right, I know it's not me. I'm just the same. It's that other person. And here it comes it up." And you know - and it starts very quietly - "Well, you know, I really didn't think that they put their socks on the floor. I really thought they put the socks in the clothes hamper." I don't care what it is: from the most minute to the most most magnificent, all of the differences begin to make themselves known. Now, this is precisely a picture, please, for you to hold in mind of what happens in your search for God as well. I said again last month, we will probably say it yet again and yet again: the difficulty is that you really expect God to look and feel a certain way. And when it doesn't look or feel that way, you say it can't be God. I know what God feels like. It feels like all that bliss. And we say, well, who's in charge of no bliss? You know, who creates no bliss? You say "Well, I know, it's that guy in the red suit, that devil. We know, he will all the time." And of course, you get very sophisticated now: there's no real devil with horns and tails, but now there's... oh well, all kinds. Whatever stories. You know, every generation has a story about who is the devil and what he looks like, how he comes. Interestingly, it's it goes between male and female.

The devil is one who... who walks both sides of the line. In some cultures, the devil is very definitely the feminine. In other cultures is very definitely the masculine. It's one of the archetypes that dances between the two. Why? It's an exciting idea to have an archetype that dances so beautifully between the two. In reality... and it's because every one of you... excuse me... it's because every one of you know that the devil is you. There is not one of you that really believes there is a devil outside that makes you do it. You know, deeply within you, deeply within you that these are patterns of constellations of consciousness that you activate at certain moments in order to keep yourself safe. You all know that. And so when the separation is eminent because you no longer want to feel this feeling, out it goes into a projection. Now, the same thing happens in the pursuit for God consciousness. Please follow this as best. I know, some of it is new for some of you. Please just take us through to the end here.

When you begin to be aware of the fact that in your daily life with human people as well as in your daily life with God material, which you have made different from human people, you have the very same pattern going on, you will begin to understand the wonderful, exciting thing that you did when you picked to be a human, because this is an absolute out picture of what you do inside around God, around divine, around consciousness. You don't like the word God. God is a difficult word for some people. I understand that. Consciousness, awareness, whatever pleases, whatever.

There are no words to describe everything. So, when you begin to understand the incredible... incredible intelligence that masterminded this plan, you begin to get excited about the game. You begin to realize that for years and centuries, and lots of... many centuries, you have been playing an externalized game between people trying to make those things all in alignment, whereas the real dilemma is inside of you, which says the minute that you feel anything is not God, you define it as not God because it doesn't feel like you want it to feel, you have distanced yourself across the galaxy. And then you begin trying to get back from the end of the galaxy. Oh, I know. It's my diet. Oh, no, I know it's the color of clothes I wear now. I know it's I don't jog. No, I know. It's... whatever. You know, you can get this... you get your way back from the far reaches of the galaxy in many different ways. The point is, you have never left the place where this... where the healing is. You don't have to go anywhere. You don't have to go anywhere. You have to sit down and say, what am I doing? I am splitting off a part of myself and alienating myself from it. I'm saying you're you and I'm me and I don't like what you're doing and you're hurting me. And it's your... All of a sudden you say, I'm doing the same thing to God.

I'm saying to this divine power. Haven't you inside of your mind said "God, you're not doing it right." [laughter] You're not doing it right. And you better get your act together, because if you don't get your act together, I'm going to do something. That is a part of the resilience of consciousness. You better get it right. God, or I'm going to fool you. I'm gonna kill myself. You better get this game figured out now. That is resilient consciousness. Good. Good, good. Because that says to you, you are in an alliance of antagonism with something that in part... one part of you absolutely believes in whatever your mind says when you start railing at God, those on our side saying "Good". At least it's a viable alternative that it's real. When you begin to get riled up... the ones that are hard are the ones that say everything's fine.

Their life is in a mess, they've lost their job, the car's been repossessed, their child in the hospital on drugs, they've lost their husband or wife, they have nothing to do but sit there all day, that everything's fine. There's nothing wrong. Everything's fine. God is like God is love. I'm fine. You know, there has to be that part of consciousness that rises up and says, what's going on? If God is everything, why do I feel so awful?

I'm asking you to answer this question in the next 2-3 years of your life. If everything is God, why do you feel so awful? If everything is God not "Oh well, it was God when it came out of the sun, and then it filtered through and it came through a prism, which was also part God, but then when it really came to the Earth plane, it was all these different colors, and that was a little less God, and, you know...", I mean, no, no. I mean, I understand all of that, and it works on one level. And we've talked about that. And that's not the level I'm talking about. I'm talking about the level that says I want to understand if everything is God, why am I miserable? If everything is God, why is there all this pain and suffering? What is going on? I'm asking you from the depths of the consciousness that I represent, that you begin to deal on that level. You have the answer absolutely within your consciousness. The answer lies in there. You don't need windbags like this. It's fun and we'll do it for a while, but by the time this ends, you won't need this. Because you're beyond windbags. [laughter]

Absolutely. Absolutely. And why do I say windbag? I use it a lot, and some people become very upset. They go to Mary Margaret and they say [guffaw] this is... this is a spiritual teaching, why is he saying all these things about a windbag? [laughter] Because, first of all, there is this incredible desire to take too much piety out of things. You know, piety is very boring, and to get too pious and you find yourself very lonely because there are very few that can meet your own standard of piety and they feel bad around you. So they choose to only call you once a month and ask how you're doing. Instead of having to deal with you on a daily basis.

So the hope here is twofold: one, that any glamour will be taken off of this and it can be just seen as what it is. And second, because those words point to a truth. And the truth is that the wind of consciousness is constantly moving through what you would call your physical body, which if we might just call it a bag, it is a bag of bones. It is a bag of flesh. It is a container. And as you begin to understand, wind bag means that the wind of awareness, of power, of strength, of awakening is constantly moving through. It's moving through you as it's moving through anything. And when you begin to understand that you are... you know, all you have do is put up the sails, even to catch the wind. And what does it mean by putting up the sails?

Putting up the sails is staying in your body and welcoming every breeze that comes your way and saying: "I want to feel this totally, fully, completely. No excuses, no projection, no ideas. Just let me feel it. What is happening? What is this feeling?" If you have a hole this big in your chest, do you not think you have the right to say to it: "Who are you? What are you? How did you get here? What can I do to get it out? What do you want? Do you want to stay? Do you want to go? Do you want to be filled? Do you.. what do you want?" I'm being so literal because that is the literal way out, is a direct confrontation through humor, and delight and willingness with all of those in tensely difficult feelings. And you begin - I know you hate it - you begin by writing things down on paper.

People say "why do I have to write things down?" Because there is a part of you, my friends, that doesn't believe yourself until you read yourself. Oh, it's just another thought, you say. Oh, it's just an idea. It's just an idea. But day after day, if you have fear, I ask you to take that fear as your good, wonderful source and start dealing with it directly. Talk to it, read about it, put it down, listen to it, get a sense of it. So much can be done by just allowing yourself to get inside and understand it. Now, for some of you, you can do this very quickly. For others of you, it's going to take a longer time. But you have to understand. Listen, please. Any energy field that is causing you pain, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual pain, you have access to the code, the DNA runs through it and you have access to its solution. If you don't believe it, then you're stuck coming to things like this for the rest of your life. And that's a bore.

All right? Get the message: it is you that holds the key. Does it mean others can't help? Of course not. If you have help interlocking with others, absolutely. But understand that when the light of consciousness comes, it is you that have brought it in. It is you that have opened the DNA and the code is clear. You hold the code. God is within. God is the basic substance. God love. Total consciousness is the basic substance of that DNA. And it runs through every single particle of your physical, mental, emotional being. It is what you are. You have the key. You are the code. How do you address it? How does any student address anything? You shut up and you ask. And as the responses come, you honor them. If you went to the greatest lecture on Earth and refused to take notes, you probably wouldn't learn a lot. But if you went and you listened and you took the notes, you would begin to be inspired. And then you would inspire yourself. And then all that you know, as you read and remember, builds on itself until all of a sudden you have coming out of your consciousness this wonderful knowing: I know what's wrong with me. I know what's wrong with me. Somebody says, oh, I don't think so. I say, I don't care what you think, sweetie. I know what's wrong with me. How do you know? Because I feel it.

When you feel the rightness of an answer, I do not care how abysmal the mind is when you hit upon a truth in your body, you will move to a conscious higher level. You can't miss. It will happen and you have the delightful job of being the recorder of your journey. There are no secrets. You know, God isn't waiting behind that first cloud to... to give you the code to heaven. God is in everything, in absolutely everything. Every thought, every feeling, every fear, every terror, every rage, every bliss. Please, my friends. Knock yourself out finding this. Please not yourself against the wall. How can it be? This is God. That is God? This feeling inside of me is God? How can it be? Please. Engage yourself. In the very engaging of the question. The answer comes. Not easily, in a flash. For some maybe, but for most of you, slowly, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, it comes. It comes.

I realize that this is not an easy teaching. And as I said last time, I will say again, for those of you that find it is not for you., may we just say our total appreciation for having come this far. Is this the only way? Absolutely not. Is this the only truth? Absolutely not. Is this one way? Absolutely. If it feels exciting to you, inside of you, as a feeling within to want to understand how that can be, and to know it in your life, to feel it and be it, to carry that knowing within you full blaze, if that is interesting to you, then we will see you next time. If not, have a wonderful incarnation. [laughter]

For those of you who have been asking about Dr. Aiken, may I say, from the side of Spirit, he's doing fine. Whatever is happening with the body is happening with the body, but he's doing fine. He's doing fine. He's opened up areas of his consciousness that he always knew were there. And the wind of knowing, the winds of freedom are blowing through your friend. And we are grateful. And we are grateful to you. To come to days like this, in weather like this. A warrior class, indeed. So those of you who wish we will have a 10 minute meditation. Thank you.